Modern Mommy:

Ok So Maybe I am Not Exactly Posting Everyday

Life since I last posted...

Strep throat. Croup. Some nasty viral thing that happens when strep and croup mingle in a petri dish for a week or so... many bottles of motrin, sleepless nights spent with a soundtrack of congested, fever ridden toddlers complimented by a smooth jazz element as the humidifier hums.

Another round of portraits (will publish results soon) We enjoyed a facial injury free week leading up to picture day. Impressive.

County accessors office, car inspection, being the very last person to make it in the door at the license bureau  at 4:55pm before they locked the doors.  Whew.

Three things I learned while waiting for car inspection:  Heath Ledger's passing... where have I been?  The Williams-Paisley's have a son.  I really missed the boat on that one.  Drew Barrymore's boyfriend is Justin Long?  Guess that one is not exactly earth shattering.  Thank you People Magazine.

Do you steal magazines from repair shops, Dr offices etc?  Just wondering on your thoughts on this highly unethical and juvenile practice.

Latest divorce triumph: Had pizza rolls and juice for dinner and did not have to explain this to anyone or bear the burden of it's health consequences upon anyone but myself.

Most recent joy of home ownership:  Kitchen sink spontaneously shooting and  leaking water onto the floor...

The good news:  I do have some recruits in line for Tune In Tuesdays.  I am still holding on to the post "What Makes My Eyes Bleed" and have even added a few to the growing list.  Also, as a side note and/or juicy rationalization: Some of my fav bloggers did not post much this month either.  Yes... validation.

What's In Your Wallet

On the nightstand these days...
Music: Miles Davis and Van Morrison and the newest iPod download: First Cut is The Deepest - Sheryl Crow
Books: A Walk on the Beach, Perfect Madness, Goodnight Moon and Are You My Mother?

What's...
In The Fridge: Chicken (always), blackberry yogurt, bagels, smoked ham.
In The Garage: Honda Civic Hybrid. I am so green - you know I am.
In The DVD Player: Latest Barbie movie Modern Pre-schooler CANNOT live without.
Blogs Read Today: the Pursuit, Dooce, LADaddy, Corky

Coming Tomorrow: Modern Mommy-ology a little idea from my BFF Sonia over at ...and the pursuit of happiness.  Check 'er out.  She earned two hits of link love today.

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Spending a little time on iTunes downloading break up songs... mmm wallowing in it today.  What are your favorites?

Everybody Looks

Did I ever tell you about the time I went undercover to expose the apaulling lack of customer service in my Target Superstore?  In my red shirt and khakis armed with only a camera phone, I went in search of blog material. Nothing.  I mean a few people asked me where they could find the toilet paper and the hard liquor, but the whole thing was kind of a big flop.  No one even noticed I was wearing my house slippers.  It bought me a paragraph. 

But here is a true story... Despite the lack of proper training and notoriously filthy floors, I took Modern Toddler and Modern Pre-schooler back to Target today. Where else can you buy a barbie movie, some tights, boneless skinless chicken and one gallon of whole milk in the same place?  Well there may be one other place, but we do not speak of that.  After a lengthy spell in the toy section, we headed over to the grocery side.  I immediately spot cute Target shopper guy.  I can spot them much quicker now that I am no longer bound by an agreement to love, honor and trust someone else.  Cute Target shopper guy is clearly also cute dad type with two cute young boys in tow.  He is rugged, needs a shave - but in a great gap commercial kind of way.  We keep almost literally running into each other.  I go up one aisle, he swaggers up in my direction.  Our kids and carts nearly collide as we pretend not to notice that we continue to take the same exact path through the store. 

Ok so I looked.  It is kind of a hobby of mine. Looking for wedding rings.  I am very equal opportunity about the whole thing.  I look for the ring on both women and men.  Trying to imagine their spouse. Wondering if they are happy. miserable or somewhere in between.  Cute Target Gap commercial guy is not wearing a ring.  Sadly this means nothing these days. Former Modern Husband did not wear his much in our last year or two together.  Guess I missed that sign.  Anyway, we headed off to the check out and I did not give him another thought. Until...  I am driving down my street and there he is!  Unpacking his car.  I stare to be sure it is him.  He spots me staring and does a quick double take.  Cute Target Gap commercial guy lives on my street. Weird.  I have yet to think up any other reason to stroll down the street.  We do not have a dog and his house is not exactly on the way to the park.  Oh well.

What's Next...

Will Smith and flesh eating zombies.  Good times.

Saw I am Legend last night with MM's Divorced Neighbor Friend, who will hence forth be known as the coolest person I have met since I became Modern Slightly Divorced Mommy, or MSDM.  Part time personal therapist, part time could almost be a certified paralegal, this all goes above and beyond the call of neighborly responsibilities.  Note to self: must buy said neighbor a potted plant, jumper cables or something I may want to drop by and borrow. 

PBS Sprout, friend or foe?  We will be exploring this and much more as I begin a weekly special report entitled Things That Make My Eyes Bleed: The New Hampshire Primary, Bad Haircuts Right Before Picture Day and The Growing Shortage of Toddler Underwear.  Also a new season of the widely acclaimed Modern Mommy exclusive: Tune In Tuesdays.  I have crossed the picket lines to bring you this original series, writer's guild be dammed.

Happy New Year

This holiday season I have unwillingly paid special attention to television commercials. 

As it would happen, I have never had much control of the random and frequent outbursts that occur while my brain rushes franticly to send abort signals to my mouth.  This used to be charming but has ceased to entertain a small select few.  Although it continues to amuse those with whom I have never had the pleasure of introducing my to attorney.  I recently took up speaking directly to the TV.  This has become most common when I am alone.   I realized that since I lost what was left of the afore mentioned ability my other senses have taken up the slack and the creative sarcastic juices are slowly returning to their former flowing glory.

It began 2 short months ago as the retail holiday season pushed it's way into our lives before we had even unwrapped the first chocolate of Halloween...

Christmas is the time for wonder.  Family. Peace. Legal separation, child support and holiday cheer.  As we celebrate our own traditions old and new, we are greeted at least 3 or 4 times an hour by jewelry commercials.  Nothing says love, marriage and cash like a diamond.  But what can you give at the end of a marriage?  I asked aloud to the TV.  What gift says "I would divorce you all over again"?  Sadly, no answer came and the marital stocking hung empty upon Christmas morning.

As the New Year begins, I contemplate more of the future and less on the past I cannot change. Most days I stumble and trip over past habits but I am constantly surprised by how much easier it gets each time to stand up and move on.