Modern Family Wedding

Now there comes a time in every second cousin's life time when he or she is suckered in to planning an event that has little or no relevance to said cousin's life. My family is no different. So here I am, planning the nuptiuals for a couple I would not recognize on the street. I know you wonder how I can write such slander about family, family who might read my blog? Only a select few in my family know of this blog, mostly for purposes of shamelessly using their hilarious lives as readership bait. Also a few of them are too busy mixing coolaid, putting cars on blocks and sipping warm beer as the bug zapper hums loudly in the thick summer air.

Let me first clarify, I am not actually planning the entire event, but I am tasked with all things recycled paper. Bridal shower invites, wedding invitations, and of course the matching thank you notes for the guests who can read and have a steady address. So, deep breath now, this all includes the: Save the Date cards, bridal shower invitations, rehearsal dinner invations, directions cards, menu cards, the actual wedding invitation and then blank thank you notes, or printed thank you notes... My God! The sheer volume almost made me wet myself. The forests that were destroyed for this blessed event is starting to make me ill. But I digress...

Allow me to intro the happy couple. What better way than a small sampling of my "choices" for the bridal shower invites. "Recipe for Love" is the attempt at a theme. Beginning with these tasty little bridal shower morcals. "Invitations that really get the guests involved..." could not possibly more lame. I can barely manage the flick of a pen to select chicken or fish and then roll down my car window long enough to toss a response card in the good ol' USPS. Let alone using my bridal shower invite for a recipe card. Now that we have recovered from that culinary trip down the aisle, let's chat about the wedding invitations. In keeping with tackiness, the invites they "asked me to order" bear no similiarity to the bridal shower invites. They are entitled "Retro Romance" The bride slightly resembles Madonna and the groom has an unintentional mullit, so I am convinced this is going to be right out of the Wedding Singer, except I liked that movie. Grab a hold of this propaganda: "Love will definitely be in the air when you send out these floral pocket wrap invitations." Yikes. Here is the first of many pointless points I would like to make to state my case. What is my purpose in this life if the choices are already made and I am simply doing the work of a wedding admin assistant? Anyway, moving on. The Save The Date cards... Now I have to admit I saw two really cool choices from this particular retailer. No names please. Here and Here. Seriously, these two are so cute. And I am a scrapbooker, pretend graphic designer and an all around classy gal. But no, no. This was the lovely Save The Date card my family members chose. Oh baby! Nuthin' says luvin' like an Internet Exclusive! (May I interject a brief commercial break? The same driver's education car has been lapping my street for an hour now, what could they be learning?)

Ok so I will not bore you with the other mindless choices. But I will say this, in all the time I spent on said wedding assignment, I saw some pretty cool stuff. I so wish the options were that nice when I got married. But you know what? I skipped the dress, the limo, the reception hall. I was married on a beautiful little private stretch of sandy beach in a small town in northern California. The sun was shining, the breeze, surf lapping, my sweet hubby and I were barefoot and I could not have asked for a more perfect day. But, people raise your glasses to the many and the brave who choose to go the other route. May your invites be printed correctly, may your fish be fresh, may your lives together begin at first kiss and last through the 387 blank thank you notes you will be writing after your nascar themed honeymoon.

Comments

[Modern Mommy]

Ok, this one was new to me until about 2 years ago. It's like an engagement announcement. Usually a picture of the couple and the upcoming date of the wedding before the formal invites are sent out. Like "Save the date on your calendar because we are engaged!" Sort of... Oh who knows, weddings are so complicated. Then again maybe they should be cause marriage is complicated as hell!

[Nikki]

Interesting. I kinda like the pink invites. But, what is a "save the date" card? Seriously, I've never heard of such a thing.