LIGHTLY SWEETENED THOUGHTS

  • "There are no shortcuts... in life, or in love. This pain must be felt, the alternative is much worse. It's what makes us special, what makes us beautiful, what makes us worthy. The pain of how we love. But that pain is accompanied by something else, isn't it? Hope. With your pain, there is hope. And that is where you are. Somewhere between agony and optimism and prayer. So, you're human. You're alive, and that's what we have."

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Monday, May 05, 2008

Love Thy Neighbors

Three things Something I learned while I was too busy to accomplish the small and self affirming task of blogging... 

Even with several (and by several I mean like a LOT of) police officers living on my street and in my subdivision in general - it still take approx. 1 hr for them to respond to a noise complaint.  This is actually impressive, I know that many of you might be living in a place where such things would be laughed at by local law enforcement, but on my little piece of land, of the relatively quiet midwestern persuasion - noise complaints still gather a bit of attention from our worthy friends in blue.  Upon returning home from work on Friday night I encountered my neighbor (not cute, gap commercial, daddy guy - exactly zero sightings of late) in his driveway, washing his car.  Now this was neither noisy nor particularly unusual except I do not get  off work on Fridays until midnight.  I remember thinking this would make for at least one interesting blog paragraph.  I stumbled into the house, and fell asleep somewhere between the laundry hamper and my pillow.  About 2am the music started.  Note: I live in a townhouse, that stands among rows of identical townhouses, that stand on a street lined with, say it with me... townhouses.  We all live pretty close together and if any of you had ever seen me throw a ball you would appreciate it when i tell you that I could hit any of my fellow townhouse dwellers with a casual toss from my front porch.  Crazy, midnight, car washer dude was now sitting in his clean car, parking lights on, windows down (rather cool that night) listening to what any reasonable ford owner must conclude only to be a custom stereo system at a volume slightly louder than inappropriate to the wee hour.  I think I yelled out my window, and i won't repeat what I might have yelled but this of course did nothing.  He must have decided it was getting cold because he backed into his garage, shut the door and turned up the music a bit.  'Bout and hour or so later the blessed police banged on his garage door until he emerged.  I saw his pathetic attempt at damage control as he reached out to the police officer.  They shook hands like they had just shared potato salad at the church picnic.  A little chit chat, he went back inside, music stopped, police left.  Ahhh, now i can enjoy the 5 hours that are left until I have to be up for work.  Over all, one hour for this type of relief would not top the charts if you were say, a spinal block.  But as for non emergency police response I give it three out of four stars. 

There were several other noteworthy things that happened this week, however I feel a bit uninspired after the predictable romantic comedy I paid movie theater money for tonight.  So lets catch up later, when the creative, and profoundly shallow tide pools of sarcasm I usually wade around in have again filled to their mediocre brim proving that sometimes seemingly small and insignificant things are exactly that.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

My Cliche Or Yours?

I used to rely heavily on rationalizations. That and the gloriously self induced state of denial.  I think any good mom flirts with these on occasion as she sorts through the chaos, noise and happiness that make up the first few hours of the day.  I also have done my share (and maybe some of yours) when it comes to trafficking in cliches. 

I have all my priorities in order.  I like this one.  Does this one even mean anything if you cannot find moral center with a flashlight and a map?  Maybe I should backtrack a bit.  I have this crazy idea that there are absolutes in this life.  Truth, morality, ethics etc.  Certainly we all must believe in some variation of this concept as we go about our lives each day generally refraining from hitting people with our cars or defrauding large numbers of stock holders.  I must sadly confess that I have wasted a great part of my life sitting in judgment of others.  Assigning levels of acceptable coolness and waiting patiently for the world around me to conform.  As I trust you must have seen coming long before I did, I encountered two serious problems as a result of this flawed practice.  First, and most obvious, I always found a reason to be disappointed.  Makes for lousy contributions to your average relationship. Second and admittedly the worst of the two, is that I have missed so many opportunities to become a person I might like to be.  One might even go so far as to say that I might have attracted similarly "together" people thus bringing us full circle with that whole coolness pursuit.  I am making myself dizzy. 

I think there are a lot of things I have learned in the recent months.  Letting go of some of the denial, a few of the impossible expectations and living life with one or two less daily rationalizations has quite literally transformed my brain.  I am still unable to communicate with out sarcasm.  Currently there is a lot of clean, unfolded laundry on my bed - however this now only affects me and I plan to leave it there as long as I like.  I have made regret and remorse more a teacher and much less the marital equivalent of being tied to a slab of concrete and pushed overboard.

Maybe what I am most proud of now is the impressive reduction in my own personal learning curve.  Sometimes a person can get so busy that they forget to learn.  Thinking maybe we know it all. Before we have even had time to learn something new, we have gone and made the same mistake again.  Oops.

You all figured this out right?  I am always the last to know.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Breaking Radio Silence

As all 7 of my loyal readers know, I have long been laboring to produce the definitive work on the subject of defining self (that self being mine) in a seemingly selfless role such as motherhood.  If I have already lost you please hit yourself in the shin with a sippy cup and focus.  Except there are the profound life events that so frequently interrupt such noble pursuits like catching up on all the TV shows I have DVR'd.  Then there is the chocolate covered cookies Modern Toddler mistook for crayons in her ongoing efforts to enhance the wall decor.  Also I have some new sandals and tickets to see The Police in concert next month. 

I have many delightful insights to impart, much soul searching has been done and I am surprisingly eager to share my findings.  Shirley, you all must have sensed by now how deeply shy and sincere I am.   It is in this spirit I set forth to dispel all previous naive and immature notions of Modern Motherhood, as told on this very blog.  I am visibly older, infinitely wiser and if it were even possible, I have found tons of new humility.   Modern Mommy has undergone a bit of a soul cleansing, but like with color safe bleach so all of my quirks and defects are still intact - yet gloriously shinny.  As my sinuses welcome in this season of renewal, I too embark on a new metaphorical journey fraught with danger but buoyed up by courage and resolve.

Unplugged.  Unmedicated.  Unmarried. 

Saturday, February 02, 2008

Dinner And A Movie

Cold turkey sandwich, hot caffe mocha and a shortbread cookie.  A huge cookie.  27 Dresses.  I am so old.  But i feel like an impostor in an adult's body.  I feel older than the 5 teenage girls sitting behind us, but so much younger than the face i see under the harsh movie theater bathroom lights.  Like I am just babysitting or something.  I am the youngest 32 yr old ever.  Read: Immature.  But in a totally got it together kind of way.

Most incredible person I will never meet: Diane Keaton.  You Must Read... the Feb 2008 LHJ article... she is amazing, beautiful and what I would dream up if i did not already belong to the best mother in the world.

The Modern Girls are healthy again, the kitchen sink is working nicely and the literal pain in my ass has subsided for now.  Nothing i cannot handle. 

Should i care that most of my i's are not capitalized?  Sometimes they are, sometimes i do not care.  Can perfection and OCD strike randomly?  I don't care what you say, my own personal idea of narcolepsy  is hilarious - its just that I sometimes doze off when I should be paying attention.

I have temporarily put coherent story telling on hold.  But I am still dancing in my kitchen at night, falling in love with the girls almost every day and alternating pizza rolls with chicken and vegetables.

Have you heard Joshua Radin?  Good movie soundtrack turned me on.  Check 'im out.  Also, am I too old to be buying Plain White T's CDs?? 

It is that thing where I feel like it is still 1998 and I am this cool 20 something who knows all the things I know now... like the love of mother and child, the heartbreak of a real life broken heart and the pride of finally calming my fears of growing up.  I mean I read the books, drive to the ballet class and buy the good diapers.  There are healthy snacks in my house and the view from my rear view window gets me all teary when the two little hands reach across and hold on tight.

I remember you now.  Happiness.  It is has been a while since we were in the same place at the same time, but i am profoundly relieved to see you again.  Confidence?  Yeah, glad you are here too.  We used to make a pretty cute couple, what do you say we try this again?

If you are reading this and you get it, comment up the place.   


Post Script:

To: The 7 people I know
Re: Google Ads
CC: Everyone who stops by my blog
BCC: Cute Gap Commercial, Target Shopping Daddy Guy who lives on my street...

I'm like this free single mom (interested in dating) who gets paid to blog while saving money on quality brand name adult diapers.

Insert photo here.

Wanna have a cup of coffee?  Read: Eddie Izzard Dressed to Kill

XOXO

MM


PPS  I am loving this blog I tripped over recently.  Divorced (You had me at hello) Mommy Blogger: Sanity and The Solo Mom's Kimberly Rastin.   She now writes for The Daily Mom.  I am so digging the way this cool woman looks at life AND the thoughtful fans who pluck thoughts right out of my head and claim them as their own.  This site is like caffine with out the jitters and I am hooked.  little exerpt from a comment... "I suppose what defines "single parent" for me is when my children do something absolutely great, or something really funny, or causes me concern - I don't share it with their father, but rather with my own parents." 

Yes!!  I feel that too!  Even if you do not relate to the divorced scene, this blog and it's readers will make you feel validated and real. 

Friday, February 01, 2008

As Promised...

Voted The Cutest Babies Ever to Appear on My Blog... Modern Toddler and Modern Pre-Schooler!

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